Better Sex Life: How Important Is Sex Before Marriage?

There is an article entitled "My mistake of Virginity" by Jessica Ciencin Henriquez the author talks about how abstinence can ruin a marriage. In his words: "No sex before marriage, I went blind, I committed myself to a man who did not know me and I gave my virginity to someone I did not have any chemistry," the message of his work is that sex is too important for a relationship to save it for the wedding night and that couples should establish sexual compatibility before marriage.

There are several studies that attempt to investigate how virginity is related to the satisfaction and sexual chemistry. In one of the studies presented, there was no difference in sexual satisfaction among those who married as virgins and those who had sex before marriage. In another study, there was little difference, said they were not virgins they were actually sexually satisfied. But it seems to be the case that the virgins are unhappy with their sex life.

What's the relationship between celibacy and divorce? A survey indicate that people who are virgins until marriage have longer lasting relationships than those who have sex before marriage (i.e., the virgins are less likely to divorce). Does this mean that being a virgin until marriage improves your relationship? Not necessarily. Sexual abstinence is often confused with religiosity, and people who are very religious tend to have more negative attitudes toward divorce. Therefore, it cannot be that " saved until marriage " makes people's marriages last longer, but it may be that people who practice abstinence until marriage are less likely to feel that divorce is an option because of their religion.

In short, there is no scientific evidence that saving for marriage necessarily leads to bad sex and/or a quick divorce, or that sex before marriage increases the ratio. However, we are dealing with population data here, and what works on an individual level can be very different. What this means is that for some people, waiting until marriage can be the right decision, and for others, the establishment of sexual compatibility in advance can be the best course of action. Couples need to work this out for themselves. My view is that we must avoid telling people what to do with their sex life because every relationship is different and sex is not as important to all of us.

I must also say that the physical sexual act itself is not what makes or a break a relationship, what is most important is sexual intercourse. My feeling is that the lack of communication may have had more to do with the relationship problems Henriquez describes in his work. Perhaps the lack of sexual chemistry is not the problem - perhaps the real problem was that they did not speak, and without communication, the quality of sex never had the opportunity to improve. So, instead of celebrating this story as an example of the importance of sex before marriage, perhaps we should be holding it as an example of the importance of sexual communication.

The important thing is not when you have sex, but how to approach it. The key is being able to talk about sex and share your wishes for each of you can maximize your sexual satisfaction and get what you want from the relationship.

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About Latoya Richards

Latoya Richard is a dating and relationship expert. Her passion is to write informative articles for people who want to improve their sex lives. Her article is for people who feel that there is something that needs to be done about their love and sex life. If you feel that sex between you and your partner is becoming boring and routine-like, her guide would offer tips to help you have better sex performance.